dolorous interludes.

Have you caught "The Good Girl" starring Jennifer Anniston? i feel exactly the character she plays in this show. the show's great in my opinion, reflects very much the realistic intensity of our feelings, our disatisfaction with the mundane, and the wry humour of life. i felt rather disturbed upon having watched the movie at first; i thought it well done, but now, its more than well done, i feel for her greatly. If you'r wondering what she's like in the show, this is it: she plays a wife who's surpressed and extremely bored with her marriage; her husband is old, fat, uncouth, lazy, and unattractive, oh, and he gets drunk a lot too. she works at a supermarket, earning meagre wages, and there, she meets this young boy. he's alluring, a wonderful writer, and good looking. and so the days go by and they delve deeper into each other's lives, soon enough, the attraction overwhelms them and they fornicate. Decadence? nah, i think the human desire is far too intense to be controlled by our silly, ever -changing convictions.

so. im like her. i'v got my fair share of desires, and when unleashed, god i just want more. im unmarried obviously, but yes, in a stale relationship too. so, i meet you(not in a supermarket of course) and you certainly arent younger than i, but gosh, he reminds me a lot of you, except that he was extremely devoted to anniston. ;)

i met him last night, and at a club once again. i wonder if we'll ever get to meet at a non clubbing place. it seems like getting high from alcohol's the only way to soothe my discomfort and defensiveness. i dont know why i get defensive either. perhaps because i know how he's like, but its not like it makes a difference anyway; i still fall prey to the desires of my heart. heart, or hormones? gosh, the distinction is even starting to blur. disgusting isnt it, this life of decadence. "what is a good girl doing with a bastard?", he asks. laughs. blame it on our raw crass human desires then. and this is the truth: the human condition cannot be restricted or controlled by a man made framework of moral consistencies.

how was last night? it was fun, except that i lost my bag there; he looked great in red, and somehow, his hair looked nicer too. -grin- i was quite sober the whole night through, except from getting a little high from the music and alcohol, so yes, i was pretty conscious of what i was doing. and what was i doing? i did what i wanted. but not completely though, the place was packed. did you have fun? sorry if i wasnt great company; im new with this, and i was shy and self conscious! aye, the insecurities of a girl. another time then, perhaps; last night's experience is more than what i really need now to get going with my stupid As.

hm. so you were right about us not being able to control our dreams, but being able to make them come true then. -grin- well well. till i next see you then.

posted by voyeur @ 10/12/2003 08:49:00 PM