dolorous interludes.

Daddy's Girl.

Me: Dad, what time do you knock off tomorrow?

Dad: Why, or should i already presume that you need a driver?

Me: haha yes, i'm going for krall tomorrow but i'll only finish school at six and i don't want to have to carry everything down from school so i'll need to dump the stuff in your car.

Dad: should be ok.

Me: Yay! thanks dad!

Dad: only because i love you.

Me: :) i love you too.

It is a rarity for my old man to say the three words, but when he does say it (despite only through sms), my heart soars, and my eyes glistens. Age has brought my dad and i closer(though we've always been close). Perhaps we've grown to realise just how much we need each other- in his process of trying to let me go because i'm at that age where i need more space, i've got my own friends, and i want to exercise my freedom; and on my part, realising how hard it is for him to let go of his only daughter of whom he's given up so much for, and how old he's becoming- and how much more i need to treasure this time with him, because it won't last forever, as much as i wish it could. Don't get me wrong, my dad's still healthy, and he's still below fifty, yet, everyday still feels like a last to me, when it comes to my dad. I'm so afraid of not letting him know (enough), just how much i care, because one never really knows when an unexpected moment might loom- in our day and age where disease is prevalent (and sudden), where natural disasters aplenty, i don't even want to risk feeling the agonising regret and remorse of not having loved him best i can, and more importantly, showing him that i do (while i still can), because he is, and always will be, the man of my life. And i'm not just talking about losing him; he might too, one day lose me- accidents, tragedy, oh you see these terms on the tabloids everyday. One just never really knows. when. and how.

This aside, while we're on the topic of tragedy and our loved ones, i recall a funny episode with an old friend, post 9/11. (okay, my bad, 'funny' and '9/11' aren't synonymous), but anyhow, upon watching on CNN how terribly fragile life is and thousands still traumatised, i started smsing a few friends to tell them how much i loved them, in case i never got the chance to again. One replied, "You're paranoid. Anyway, i'm really sad, 'cos now the sky scrappers are gone and you won't be able to see them on those nice postcards anymore!" Right. So much for sentimentalism.

posted by voyeur @ 4/05/2005 04:05:00 PM