dolorous interludes.

"don't give up on love. it's possibly the most beautiful thing ever created. in one word, it gives flights of fancy, soaring above endless clouds, from rainbow to rainbow. butterflies in our stomachs, a fluttering and pounding heart. dreams straight out of mills and boon novels. " says my dear friend. he's right. we shouldnt give up on love. but what is love. the notion of love is now so contorted that there's just too little of it to believe in anymore. the love that is passionate, never out of habit nor convenience; the love that shines as brightly as diamond stars and burns so eternally; the love that is perfected by our desires, and always so spontaneous, so unrestrained, and so alive. THIS, is the only love i want and will embrace. yet, it seems so impossible to meet with such a love. as the very same dear friend of mine would say, "On relationships. We meet, strike up an exchange of words, thoughts, contact. slow inital motion accelerates, so quick it sparks, ignites and it burns bright! after the first flame, it slows down, and works itself to the rest of what is left, consuming everything, leaving nothing but charred ashes. relationships are a lot like matches".

another dear friend of mine wrote yesterday that he was a boy who "could not love". why do you say "could?" even if you can't, will you? why won't you? a very trying love would perhaps need a consious decision of commitment, but a love as the one i wish for and desire would not need such an action. so it is perhaps not true to say that love is a choice. in this light, i may then be undermining love, reducing it to a mere fleeting feeling, but this is my point. feelings are powerful. they ignite in us a far greater will to love, completely, as compared to our weak willed minds. what is love if not for the soul in us? aye, it is nothing. nothing at all.

we dont think up our feelings. i think it flawed to suggest that the only way we dont feel is not to think. on the contrary, the only way to feel, and feel completely, is not to think! the mind is divorced from the heart. even the feelings i feel right now that are processed by my very mind are so much less, so much less, than what i feel. so tell me, what would make you love? what would? i dont believe you to be so very cold, and hey, please dont prove me wrong.

posted by voyeur @ 10/13/2003 01:16:00 PM