On Love.
A rather wise but love atheist playboy once told me that, "Love happens when one person encompasses all your emotional demands and offerings, and you are but the only two people in the world, somewhat like a superhero duo up against the world with no one but themselves, needing no one, but themselves."
To many, this seemingly overly passionate, overly obsessive, and demanding love may appear unrealistic, and if ever it did happen, unhealthy. I don't quite know what people look for in Love these days, but i live for this love, that exact Love which my friend once spoke of. Love that is borne out of nowhere, a suddenness in great need, a painful desire to be with the person everyday of your life, and upon seeing that person, you are seduced wholly, enthralled fully, and consumed entirely. Every strand of feeling towards, or as a result of that person is magnified a hundred fold, and its intensity and extent bewilders one, leaving one with the extremest multitude of humanly mad rushes. These feelings take you by surprise, holds you to them, and then all at once, you are afraid, jealous, possessive, angry, sad, and all of the emotions that the creator of mankind speaks not of Love.
But this is my desire. to be placed at each pinnacle of every emotion, descending slowly as the tides release themselves after every struggle. I have found this great Love that i could only dream of or write of in my yesteryear entries, and the reality of having found this Love grips me more strongly than ever as i fear losing it to Circumstance. or what some may call Fate or Chance. A poet once wrote of being "consumed by the flames of Love" and that one is almost always burned by this preposterous passion.
Burn then, if i must, to find Love, to hold onto Love; after all, there is every chance in the world that one mightn't need to be set aflamed in this complex web of human relationships. i love him, and he has captured me wholly. Thank you for showing me what it means to Love with such intensity.
I love you. because my heart tells me so.
Friday, May 14, 2004
If i have no other virtue, I at least have the permanent novelty of free, uninhibited sensation.
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