dolorous interludes.

Before Sunset

You know its a great film when eighty minutes of show time feels like ten. It was a rather shockingly short film, one of the shortest ive seen yet i think. But oh boy, these precious minutes left me hungry for more, and at the same time, relishing every moment, and every word that hung in the air as ideas about romantic love, sex, yearning, memory, commitment, compromise, coincidence, disappointment, passion, men, women, the passage of time and songwriting were tossed about in one conversation, which was hey, essentially the entire movie. yes, an eighty minute conversation which was more than lovely to watch.

The two main and only people in this film, Jesse(Ethan Hawke), and Celine(Julie Delpy), meet unexpectedly when Jesse goes to Paris to promote his book. He is now a famous author, having just published a book which was based on his one night experience with Celine nine years ago(Before Sunrise). So he sees her. Is surprised, and so they talk before he catches his night flight. The scenes of which the conversation carries through change as they first talk over coffee and cigarettes at a cafe, then a walk through a park, then a boat ride(which reminded me so much of a scene in My Best Friend's Wedding if you'v seen), a car ride, and lastly at her place.

Three main ideas that i caught onto from this movie that i related to immensely:

1) Being alone and feeling lonely is better than being with someone physically, or people for that matter, and feeling lonely. I've felt this and wrote about this many times in my journal in my yesteryears; you get through life as though a thin glass panel separates you and the crowd; you hear them, you see them, and you even watch the motions of life and people like you watch a play. But you can't immerse yourself fully in this forward motion of life, and others can't quite touch or reach for you because of this invisible barrier you create for yourself; there are so many thoughts, ideas, and feelings dancing inside, embedded so deep that no one, can ever reach that inner core, and hence, the distance, and the loneliness even when you'r in a group. or with someone.

When you'r physically alone, at least you aren't struck with the consciousness of the emptiness you feel even when you'r surrounded by seas of laughing faces that do not touch you; at least, you don't have to be sunned by smiles that you know will leave you cold by night, and at least, you don't have to apply external expressions to your words, affections and gestures to be partially involved in an activity.

But i think most of all, when you'r alone and are feeling lonely, you know that it is your conscious choice to be kept alone, and therefore the emptiness is an inevitable passage to solitude. When you immerse yourself in company and still feel lonely however, the feeling of seclusion is heightened, and you feel as if you should be rid off these awful feelings but can't. That magnifies the loneliness ten fold.

2) As we grow older and look back, we realise how naive and silly we once were, perhaps through our actions or statements made. But our inner core, the very being in us, how we feel and relate towards certain things, still remain the same.

This substantiates my firm understanding of how we never grow wiser as we grow older. and when i mean wise, i mean it not just in our intellectual mind developing manner, but rather, our emotional attitudes, and choices. I've been keeping journals(this is hardly considered a journal about my life) since 1992. Yes, of course the earliest of entries were the epitome of what one might label as silly. but the later ones, perhaps from '98 onwards, still strike a chord in me as i read back. Why then? Oh yes, the writing style has changed incredibly, the choice of words, syntax, and so on, are a world of difference as well. But what remains the same, is the core of my writing, the essence of what i try to express best i can; the feelings that go down with my pen as it scribbles the indescribable, where emotions translate themselves lucidly into patterns, forms, and words.

These thoughts, ideas, issues, and feelings remain largely the same. Oh how we grow cynical through the years yes, but the problems we deal with, really reflect how constant beings we are! Or maybe, what it shows perhaps, is how we never really change. We change our hairstyles, our reading habits, our sleeping hours, our vocabulary, our choice of clothes, even our friends, but, at the heart of these changes, resides a very simple constant- us.

3) On relationships. Each time someone walks out of your life, something dear is lost, and a part of you is seemingly taken away with them as they go. But you never forget them. The little things about them, whether a smile, a hand gesture; the way he runs his fingers down his face when portraying tears running, or the way he laughs awkwardly, or even the way he walks, are never lost even if you lose them to the world. Remember "Love is so short, Forgetting so long"? The night time phantoms will always remain, both in our hearts and minds.

So there. This film, was an incredible romantic; it was as real and as generous as it was vulnerable, and rarely have i seen the art of conversation being so acute, honest and revealing. This is, truly, a love story made for the person who dares to dream.

posted by voyeur @ 11/18/2004 07:25:00 PM