dolorous interludes.

its a tuesday. skipped piano, and am supposed to be studying. quite tired of the little ive done so far. one paper left... and well, its just strange. exam periods always seem to get me nostalgic. i dont think of you anymore. i really dont. not as much at least, but you appeared -again- in my dreams in the past two nights. incredible. felt so real. and when i wake up in the morning, i feel displaced all over again cos my dreams with you feel like reality. but i know it isnt. i know i still care for you, but i dont think i still love you as i did in the past. im moving on. i am. i want to appreaciate and savour every moment of what i have now. dont want to regret. dont want to look back and see that i didnt quite hold onto every precious moment with the one i love. yf said the other night that my blog was depressing. ha. i dont know. i dont mean it to be. its just the mood that launches me forward as i begin to type. i think its possibly because the fonts are very even. too even. feels too cold and distant. gets one in the mood too you know? :) but i kinda like it this way. and yf, if you're reading this(i think you're only one of the very few who read this blog), i wanna tell you that i really thank God for you. -hugs- i mean, i know we dont talk very much all the time, and when we do, im usually cutting my nails, or asking you to sing me songs... but i appreciate the company. i need it. feel lonely a lot of times. hearing from you makes me smile, and knowing that you'll call again some time soon keeps me feeling secure. so, thank-you my dear.
anyway, friday night was fabulous. every time he said "i love you" i couldnt help but cry. i have never heard anyone say it with this much feeling and sincerity. i was overwhelmed.
mm. the moment i begin revelling in "our special moment", you come online. and yeah, i had dreams about you again. two consecutive nights its been. strange huh. tell me about it. i dont will it. you just come.

posted by voyeur @ 3/25/2003 06:02:00 PM