wow. i last wrote in march. its amazing how time flies. its july the twelfth today. and guess what; nothing changes. i still feel morose, i still feel jaded, and im still thinking of you. its an awfully dreary afternoon: the skies are a blank mixture of white and grey. so very pallid, so calm, but a calmness derived only from a feeling of nothingness, of futility. you probably feel so very contrary to my sentiments. you've achieved so much this year; im so proud of you, do you know? you'r a natural leader. ive faded to a wallflower. not so much the enthusiast and participant i used to be. -smiles- do you remember youth challenge? we'r to be aspiring leaders... bah. :) i wonder how different we are now, as compared to when we were much younger. i would suppose even more so than we were then? :) mm. im listening to a song called "you an me always" by the wannadies. played in the movie Romeo and Juliet. star crossed lovers they were. sigh. i feel almost hesitant writing like this. im not used to it. so much has happened yet again from march to july. its nearing almost a year now, and well. i guess i just wonder how you -really- are. smses dont say much at all, and i gather we'r not telling each other a lot. i wonder how you feel. about me. do you ever wonder that about me? :) oh well. here's another song for you anyhow.
"The Scientist" by Coldplay:
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Heads are a science apart.
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.
I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me,
Come back and hold me,
Oh, when I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' tails,
Comin' back as we are.
Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.
dolorous interludes.
Saturday, July 12, 2003
If i have no other virtue, I at least have the permanent novelty of free, uninhibited sensation.
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