dolorous interludes.

An early night's rest and azure skies make me a very, very, happy girl. :)

posted by voyeur @ 11/27/2004 04:14:00 PM

George Eliot is one helluva remarkable woman.

i sat down to read Middlemarch after the Torts paper on wednesday, and ever since, Contract law has slipped to the Land of Laters. its been such a long time since i've accorded myself the luxury of really indulging in literature; and when i mean indulge, i dont just mean plain reading; i mean, the endless scrutiny of words, the themes, and the characters. This is what i do when this happens- i have a black pen and a ruler by the book, other of Eliot's works for thematic reference, and i switch off all noisy devices, including my background music for that matter. Then and there, i turn the pages and revel in her brilliance. It has been so delightful, and of course, as i set aside some meagre time for contract law, the disparity of my moods were rather evident and this led on to my usual course of self questioning and self doubt as to why im actually doing law. I would suppose my reasons to be of utmost importance if i should want to carry myself through these four years for a sufficiently well acknowledged degree, and so, i began the mental listing:

1. i wanted an overseas scholarship but was only offered a local one and i didnt want to do lit locally- i do feel that the surrounding environment plays a big part in my writing. for example, i feel siginicantly more inspired to write when it rains, or when i bask in glorious wide open spaces that liberates even my thoughts, imagination and feelings, hence giving way to more fluid writing.

2. i thought a "professional" degree might've been the more "practical" option.

3. i can't foresee myself getting married/settling down so i need to be financially independant, and uh, sufficiently well financed for my indulgence.

4. i can't see myself teaching my life away. a slave to kids these days? bah humbug. (kids these days'r really a pain in the ass, what happened to the good 'ole "yes teacher" days!)

5. i thought the rigorous law course might be good for my mind, which i can't and won't disagree with at this point, but what does it matter if i had all the knowledge in the world but a passionless mind?

6. i *thought* i wanted to do something more applicable and practical than fluffy dreamy feely lit. but evidently, i thought wrong.

I've always known and thought that Passion should have been at the top of my priority list; its what ive stood for all my life, and i think my joy in attending classes, and the ease of which i was kept motivated back at college, are testament enough for what rewards following your heart could bring you. Anyhow, ive got further plans (or shall i say Post-Law School plans) to pursue my dreams after these four years. Let's hope my passion doesn't die out by then, or who knows, i might even start developing a faint interest in law. (actually i do like it well enough for now, but thats just well enough; i won't settle for anything less than red hot scorching desire for now!

posted by voyeur @ 11/27/2004 02:27:00 PM

Why, the world is diverse as it is round!
What do you think drove poets to rhyme?

Curtained Love

Morning rain descends the
window panes, like
lost love slipping
through
my fingers,
a satin shawl draping
off my shoulder and
lust breathing down the
caves of my neck.

Night time shadows of
young lovers waltz to sultry
melodies- an embrace, a kiss, and
affable smiles.
Innocuous sweet yearning
blanket
the familiar cosy stable where
only the younger of the
two found
solace and comfort
in.

His arm curved like a wine
glass, ready to
fill
her with unspoken tender
words;
Her body like a light
bulb, glowing in
silent radiance as
his fingertips traced constellations
and treasure maps
in the inky darkness of
Moonlit
Love.

He stripped her of
her
velvetine robes,
She
revelling in the maddening
want, as do
drunk insatiable
men disregarding martyrdom
drown into.
Bodies clasped tight as his hungry hands explored
the mysteries of
Forbidden fruit; her fists
clenched themselves
rhythmically
to the
soft
sounds
escaping her
royal chambers.

Afternoon rain now
taps gently
on birch branches- nature
mellowed by
torrential
falls.
A momento for
Every
episode-
Candied love,
Yellowed love;
A prize for
every
memory of
closeted
silhouettes.

posted by voyeur @ 11/25/2004 07:12:00 PM

Perhaps i am at a crucial crossroads of my intellectual existence. And right now, the best way of protecting myself is through striking a balance. Unfortunately, a balance can't quite be met when one's down with the cold, or bogged by the exams. But, i feel strangely enlightened today. There's just so much to be thankful for in life! Especially the dearest people who tug at my heartstrings every now and then. With all my love, darlings. :)

posted by voyeur @ 11/21/2004 05:23:00 PM