dolorous interludes.

Let it die.

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start.

Certain truths reflect themselves like ugly physiognomies on a broken mirror- distorted, try as you might to plaster the little pieces together. but you see, broken pieces are no longer perfect in themselves the way a canvas portrait loses its holistic beauty when torn into a million tiny shreds. These truths aren't always easy to accept, but when they speak so intelligibly in these pristine moments, one cannot help but stop: feeling, wanting, needing. I finally gather enough courage to remove the callous cobwebs in my closet- transformation must begin soon lest i self destruct. Frequent thoughts of losing myself in various vices available plague me at nights. oh these thoughts which lord henry would so approve of. But the better of me pulls these reigns and then i think of my family, a few loved ones, and then i think- there's too much to let go if i go. And so i take the first step of removing all such possible avenues of remembrance; let it die, let it die.

posted by voyeur @ 2/08/2005 06:09:00 PM

Fundamentally Loathesome.

It hasn't just been a long day. its been an incredibly long week. ack, what was i thinking- the week's barely started. but im just so tired. of everything. No doubt this week has been full of activities- birthdays, events, people meeting; but home i am and everything oppresses me. This is a fucking vicious cycle that constantly leaves me impoverished, emotionally anyway. I'm fucking tired. I don't fucking deserve this, really. i don't.

Shoot myself to love you
If i loved myself i'd be shooting you

Fundamentally loathesome, thats what you are to me.

posted by voyeur @ 2/08/2005 04:30:00 AM

Schoolmates.

Steamboat-ing with my og mates was quite a pleasant experience. I think i ate too much though- the thought of prawns just really sickens me now. It was a pretty hilarious night though- with melvin continually having issues about having a chinese dinner when its CHINESE new year and wanting to have his seafood platter at fish&co; jo and kt being so silly about the live prawns; and everyone not understanding chinese and therefore having a horrendously difficult time ordering food. amazing. We caught Hotel Rwanda after, and it was NOT a good movie to watch after a heavy meal. It was a good movie no doubt, with a very powerful theme. but. horribly visual at some parts, which really made me feel discomforted. in my stomach. Anyhow.

Quote of the night, which i promised melvin i would put up- "see lah, what did i tell you about the prawns. if we were having the seafood platter it'd be all peeled for you." -silence- and then all turns and stares. haha. yes. i think we got the idea melvin. ;)



OG 7 :)



tossing about the cooked noodles.



and of course, the steamboat.

Anyhow. Two shoutouts before i close tonight:

You: thank you for the phone conversation last night, and for being so terribly sweet about everything. most of all, thank you for staying up even though you had to wake really early the next morning. i really do appreciate it. very much. still wish i could convince you of making the most out of Time. smiles.

the annoyed one: please be okay soon dear. i don't like us squabbling. at all. *hugs*

posted by voyeur @ 2/07/2005 01:24:00 AM