You will never understand, will you?
i'm off to bed. very, very, tired.
dolorous interludes.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Friday, September 17, 2004
I feel so foolish to have spent so much time reminiscing and crying over you not being by my side. it feels stupid, especially when the other person doesn't even want to remember anymore. or rather, he's got no free time. oh no, or was it, he's not the sort who makes free time for activities that do not "actively engage" him. the part that hurt the most was when you said that while back in singapore, you were wholly consumed by me and couldn't see anyone else when we would walk along in town, was because i was right beside you and you were there with me. but now that you'r not, you can't possibly feel that way anymore, or be wholly consumed.
i feel so silly.
i feel like a soaked sponge gone dry.
enough is enough, if he can start his life anew perfectly happy and dandy, i can too. i need to.
i feel so silly.
i feel like a soaked sponge gone dry.
enough is enough, if he can start his life anew perfectly happy and dandy, i can too. i need to.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
"I don't know how to help you.
I guess you have to figure it out yourself."
really feel like im on my own already you know?
if i could figure it out myself i wouldn't be feeling this way.
i hate my life.
i hate what im doing.
i hate it that i can't be happy.
i hate it that no one understands.
i hate it that i'm lousy at what i do.
i hate it.
i hate myself so much.
if a machine were destructive, wouldn't a man destroy it? why doesn't it apply to human beings?
I guess you have to figure it out yourself."
really feel like im on my own already you know?
if i could figure it out myself i wouldn't be feeling this way.
i hate my life.
i hate what im doing.
i hate it that i can't be happy.
i hate it that no one understands.
i hate it that i'm lousy at what i do.
i hate it.
i hate myself so much.
if a machine were destructive, wouldn't a man destroy it? why doesn't it apply to human beings?
I was on 151 today listening to the radio, and this song came up. spot on, i say.
"Welcome To My Life"
::Simple Plan::
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
"Welcome To My Life"
::Simple Plan::
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I saw the most beautiful thing today.
Two men were pushing a huge green trash bin up onto the pavement; they were having fun doing this- smiles, laughter and innocent joy filled the air as the winds seemingly lifted the heavy bin up the curb. The people who are free from the cares of the ongoing rat race eventually are the ones who really live. The darkened skies brought them no melancholia; instead, they pushed on, running and laughing, in hope of a nearest shelter. They did reach one. As i closed my gates, which appeared to divide our lives, one of them looked at me, and smiled.
They saw that i was watching them; but no i wasn't doing so in disdain, i wished for a second just to share their laughter and smiles. i smiled and turned around. i returned home, to find myself alone, again.
Two men were pushing a huge green trash bin up onto the pavement; they were having fun doing this- smiles, laughter and innocent joy filled the air as the winds seemingly lifted the heavy bin up the curb. The people who are free from the cares of the ongoing rat race eventually are the ones who really live. The darkened skies brought them no melancholia; instead, they pushed on, running and laughing, in hope of a nearest shelter. They did reach one. As i closed my gates, which appeared to divide our lives, one of them looked at me, and smiled.
They saw that i was watching them; but no i wasn't doing so in disdain, i wished for a second just to share their laughter and smiles. i smiled and turned around. i returned home, to find myself alone, again.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
If i have no other virtue, I at least have the permanent novelty of free, uninhibited sensation.
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Previous Posts
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