dolorous interludes.: 03/23/2003

i would:

tell my dad i love him so much. so much.
tell my mom i really appreciate all that she does though i may get mad at her a lot.
tell me gramps that i love them so much and appreciate them always being here.

im feeling really strange now. the SARS isnt helping. i think everyone's getting paranoid. and its getting on my nerves. i suppose safety is very important... BUT. there's just too much talk about it... everything that my mom says these days is related to it. the paranoia aside, i do understand that SARS is deadly, and it struck me the other night how.. frail life is. and i was thinking, if i only had 10 days to live... what would i do? i guess there isnt very much to do when you're lying on the bed in the ICU, but. its scary. thinking about it.

what would i do. what can i do. then.

What sign of affection am i: cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed.

quite true.

Which guy am i destined to have sex with. haha.
answer: Jude Law: you like them romantic and British with beauiful green eyes.
ooh yeah. cant be more right than that.

How Emotional Am i?
Sorrowdweller. You are not overcome by anger nor happiness. Your emotions are pretty well balanced, but you do tend to get somewhat emotional at times leaning towards depression and saddness. You have your own views of the world and while you do not see the beauty of life, you are not completely overwhelmed by darkness. Live and let live just because.

mm. how true?

haha. perfect girlfriend? nah. btw, im really into these quizes. haha.

Neutral: Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the world in a negative or positive way and you'll never judge or assume a situation- you just look at the facts. People like you are peaceful and accepting.

and yet another one... quiz about what colour i see the world in. ha.

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully, it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into you playing the dominant role MEORW!

-laughs- all thanks to looking thru gen's blog... this quiz was kinda interesting. true to some extent perhaps. haha.

its a tuesday. skipped piano, and am supposed to be studying. quite tired of the little ive done so far. one paper left... and well, its just strange. exam periods always seem to get me nostalgic. i dont think of you anymore. i really dont. not as much at least, but you appeared -again- in my dreams in the past two nights. incredible. felt so real. and when i wake up in the morning, i feel displaced all over again cos my dreams with you feel like reality. but i know it isnt. i know i still care for you, but i dont think i still love you as i did in the past. im moving on. i am. i want to appreaciate and savour every moment of what i have now. dont want to regret. dont want to look back and see that i didnt quite hold onto every precious moment with the one i love. yf said the other night that my blog was depressing. ha. i dont know. i dont mean it to be. its just the mood that launches me forward as i begin to type. i think its possibly because the fonts are very even. too even. feels too cold and distant. gets one in the mood too you know? :) but i kinda like it this way. and yf, if you're reading this(i think you're only one of the very few who read this blog), i wanna tell you that i really thank God for you. -hugs- i mean, i know we dont talk very much all the time, and when we do, im usually cutting my nails, or asking you to sing me songs... but i appreciate the company. i need it. feel lonely a lot of times. hearing from you makes me smile, and knowing that you'll call again some time soon keeps me feeling secure. so, thank-you my dear.
anyway, friday night was fabulous. every time he said "i love you" i couldnt help but cry. i have never heard anyone say it with this much feeling and sincerity. i was overwhelmed.
mm. the moment i begin revelling in "our special moment", you come online. and yeah, i had dreams about you again. two consecutive nights its been. strange huh. tell me about it. i dont will it. you just come.

dolorous interludes.

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

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