dolorous interludes.

The rain pours heavily, running over the soft soils and threatening to wrench the delicate pretty flowers out of their snug homes. this turmoil not only brewed because of the war between the skies and the earth, ourbursts of internal conflicts were sometimes witnessed even amongst the flowers. The orchids werent very handsome, but they were awfully critical and quick to judge: one evening, a passerby commented on the prettiness of those purple-white petals, but the proud orchid merely turned his nose and said very eloquently, "you may admire me, but i wish not for your admiration; you are too ugly to be deserving of my natural beauty. " the passerby was hurt, sad and astonished altogether, but put not an inch of blame on the orchid, thinking and believing truly that she must've been much too ugly for that pretty orchid.

The deep red tulips were charming and seemingly genuine, but was it truly so? one morning, another passerby upon seeing the tulips, couldnt help but to exclaim, "ah! the tulips look lovingly sweet and handsome, surely i could depend on them to make me happy!" tulips always know what to say and at the right time too; they were trained to speak and trained to charm; one of them replied, "oh my dear miss, surely you cannot be unhappy, for your pretty face must bring you a great number of admirers who'll bring you endless joy!" the naive (and rather unpretty in truth)miss was so flattered she smiled through the next seven years. little did she know that those lines were said and repeated at least a hundred and seven times in just about a week.

Then came the blue roses, ever so amiable and good with words; they drew most of the crowd and were never quite lonely. the roses were somewhat vulnerable though, and so they never had their hearts placed on the line. they talked to many people, but never really cared for most; they had thorns and oh did they prick! one crushed a girl's heart : he had charmed her and allured her and had her completely consumed by his rare beauty, and told her thereafter that he did not love her so. oh did the roses prick, but more so to protect themselves.

Ah whoever saw that one sad silly sunflower at the corner of the garden peeling his own petals while chanting, "she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me she loves me not...." ? little children would go to him when they were sad and crying, but would often forget his kindness and unfailing love once they grew up. it seems then, he was to be alone for some time. ah. a simple flower with simple needs, but such was not to be.

posted by voyeur @ 11/15/2003 04:58:00 PM

We find love in the strangest places. Love. some people teach us how to love. others teach us how to calculate coldly the mathematics of emotions. iv met with the latter, and the former, hardly. strange days these are. i hope my dear friend finds something in her that he's been searching for unknowingly; that yearning for something more than whats temporal, that feeling of being enthralled and consumed completely. Love we find in different places, i hope i meet with Love soon. :)

posted by voyeur @ 11/11/2003 03:22:00 PM

i love rainy days. the fragrant earthiness of the after showers is glorious! its still pouring now, though the intensity of the rainfall is decreasing quite so steadily. ah. two days into my exams and i feel like its over. econs essays and gp are done with, leaving the horrible friday coming up. how much sillier can the time table get- literature and physical geography! its hell crazy. my brain's gonna be so full of mid oceanic ridges formation processes, braided rivers, discordant drainage systems, etc. and quotes from Othello, "they are like stomachs and we are like food; they eat us hungerly and when they are full they belch us". ha, that quote's on the subject of men spoken by Emilia. even Shakespeare speaks some truth it seems. :)

life's been good. i feel so at peace with the world and its workings. no doubt it can be an ugly awful place at times, but when one cares not and thinks not of these matters, ah, life's good. i should really stop thinking once the As ends. thinking too much is seriously unhealthy for the soul, or the mind for that matter. i shall indulge in senseless things. ah speaking of senseless, iv got much post exams plans, except that i'll need to cut down my list of "to do"s, lest i dont do well in any of those at all. my list so far: tennis, french, driving, piano. iv got a huge piano exam next year and that i'll definitely need to do it well; the fees for that silly one hour exam is five hundred bucks. can you imagine that. that's half a thousand. aye.

so there. i cant decide what to cut down on, id really love to do all of those. oh yes, to add to that, i'll be giving tuition to earn the extra cash i'll need for europe next year. please do ask around and if you know anyone who wants english, literature or geography tuition, do inform me, yes? :) an extremely niche market i know, but sadly, the only subjects i'm relatively comfortable with. aye. i wish i was more inclined towards math. everyone seems to need math tuition. or physics. or both. and of course, through tuitioning, i'll hopefully be able to pass on this great and important message ive learnt through my years of taking literature: Literature is one of life's greatest tools; "language is a powerful stream that is sure to be smack of mingled soil" in the words of Eliot;and most of all,we need to understand the relativity and the complexities of the human condition.

ah im dead tired. been up half the night trying to fall asleep. throughout my three hours awake, all i could think of were Louisa's(a character from my lit text: Hard Times)words, "I have such unmanageable thoughts. " haha. and indeed. i couldnt stop my mind from wandering last night. thoughts rolled on from one subject to the other like dominoes falling forward forever. it seemed like eternity at least. off i am, in no mood to study whatsoever.
oh yes, on the train home this afternoon, i thought about the massive amounts of time id have after the As. for about a week after my As ends, im gonna be sitting at my table at nights wondering what to do. i'll bet you on that. the body is so accustomed to the routine motion of studying that once taken away from this steady forward motion of life, he loses his bearings and is stunned for just about awhile. such habitual people we are. if only everyday could be a new day. have you watched "groundhog day"? it must be terrible for that man who goes through the same everydays daily. i guess we should be thankful for the limited diversity exisiting in each of our lives. lets be. life's good. im happy. :)

p/s: ah yes gen, thanks for leaving a note. was nice hearing from you. glad you found the *** in the LT too. heh. sorry bout the screw up. and yes, how ominous my note was eh. see. life's little ironies, coupled with Murphy's law and what nots, what an interesting world we live in! :)

posted by voyeur @ 11/11/2003 02:22:00 PM