dolorous interludes.

::Bette Midler::
The Rose

"Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed

Its the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance
Its the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance
Its the one who won't be taken, the one who can't seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember that in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose."

Being the mawkish person that i am, i dished out this old cd entitled "Radio City Love Songs" last night, which is a compilation of love songs from various artists like Mariah Carey, Lionel Richie, Duran Duran, George Michael, etc. quite so soothing, love songs are, especially late at nights when one is made almost vulnerable by the moonlit absence of a loved one. while trying to avoid caring too much for these silly wishy ballads, i attempted to read "our government's macro economic aims:conflicts" ha. this should counter all possible gushing sentimentalism eh? ah it didnt work for me at all. i ended up listening quite whole heartedly to fifteen songs on this one cd, of which two songs in particular dazed me. One is Bette Midler's famous one which i typed on the top of this post, and the other is Duran Duran's "Ordinary World" which touched me too somehow. it seems i never escape the wicked claws of music; last night, it drew me in again, leaving the heap of broken yesteryear memories in my arms.

posted by voyeur @ 11/08/2003 03:05:00 PM

hm. what is wrong with my blog. my comment boxes have disappeared! can someone tell me what to do, or perhaps even do it up for me? my technical expertise(or the lack of), really fails me at such times. desperate days indeed. aye.

posted by voyeur @ 11/07/2003 02:23:00 PM

ive been urged by a dear friend to update, and so i shall. not much to update though. im tired. the lack of sleep(at least the proper 11pm-7am sort that leaves one bright eyed and cheery the next morning) and the discomfort im feeling in my abdomen now really isnt helping me to get any work done this afternoon. two days to my As. im trying not to fret and people have been at awe for my seemingly controlled and calm state of mind; i try, but im actually really scared. i feel as if id be punished for my lack of preparation and the "we reap what we sow" theory will now finally prove true. at desperate times like these, one can only hope. hope in what? Favourable Chance? this time, i choose to hope in God, whether or not i truly believe that it is He that has blessed and watched over me,i feel deep down that this strange presiding power is likely He, and He's truly blessed me tremedously all these years, some more miraculous than others, and at other times, a dark valley that brings me along to brighter days. so im praying. praying hard. they say that the prayer of an unrighteous man will be ineffective. well. all you righteous people out there, say a prayer for me then, will you?

all this aside. i think this period has been most constant and pleasing to my heart. the lack of idleness(an idle mind is ground for the devil's play, don't you think?) in my daily hours and the strange camaraderie that exists amongst the struggling, more so for personal gain and encouragement sometimes though, leaves me feeling quite fine, really. i recently got reacquainted with a friend iv lost for awhile in the midst of all that school banter, chaos and activity, and i treasure this new found friendship. let's call him T. there he is always, late into the nights, dropping me sweet encouraging messages that warm the heart and bring sunny smiles to the cold of the night; our hours of reminiscence of orientation days filled with thrill and uncertainty has often made us both nostalgic, but in a good way. he's the sort of friend i know id be able to trust for a long long time, and he'll be there to bring me sweeter moments yet in the after-As days to come. :) such a dear he is.

ive recently also started talking to another dear friend of whom our only mode of communication previously was through the icq and email. lovely emails he writes. i cant say enough how much pleasure it brings reading his mails. thank you my dear, if you'r reading this. :) he's most amusing, and most interesting. i doubt ever that iv met with such a dynamic and vocal person. you'r destined to do great things you know. i see it in your talents, though you believe that you'r "not particularly good at anything". thats just about the silliest thing ive heard. thanks for always giving me a good laugh though, you'r truly so very precious. :)

ah, i sound like im writing a death note, thanking all the wonderfully sweet people in my life. -laughs- well. we never know, do we. life is frail.

alright. im off to my books now. literature is fascinating. ive read these books at least five times through now over the last two years but each time i re-read them, i always see something new, and that is the beauty of language; "men construe things to their own fashion", and the same principle applies: we read what we feel at that moment, we interprete things in relation to our state of being, circumstances and fortune(or the lack of). goodbye then. i doubt i'll be writing for another week at the very least. wish me luck!

ah yes, today's the 7th, so Happy 21st david! :)

posted by voyeur @ 11/07/2003 02:13:00 PM