dolorous interludes.

Why hello, December's Here. nice seeing you post a little comment after a rather long time. Your absence has been felt. -smiles- Indeed, december hasnt been so sweet a month. a confounded lonely time it has been despite the artificial bustle and cake icings. but yes, im holding on my dear. i trust that you've been having the greatest time this season with the pretty neon lights and modern music. Meanwhile, I wait still for Love; the love that i see in all things beautiful: a painted portrait in Paris; a chiffon scarf dancing with the winds in Lyon; a majestic masquerade waltzing to Chopin. Oh yes, before i forget, i must remind you to write so very soon! You havent written for a grand total of, fourteen days? i live to read you my dear, nourish my roots now; you do remember that you serve somewhat as inspiration. -grins-

And as for you my dear, my fellow friend who also thinks Dorian the most charming; yes, let us sit and talk about the previous entry some time. i believe i have much to share.

Off i go now to fill the pores, joints, fractures and beddings of my heart; i shall feel emptier tomorrow i am certain, but let me learn to live and embrace this broken bag of dreams.

posted by voyeur @ 12/06/2003 07:31:00 PM

Christmas is a season for chocolates.
A box of chocolates- we never know what we'r gonna get.
I used to like dark chocolate; fancied it so
much i would crave for it night and day.
Dark chocolate made me extremely happy-
ecstatic.
It tastes exquisite; it needs to be acquired.
i loved the taste of it on the keen edges of my mastery
tool; it seemed that dark chocolate was made entirely for
my buds.

Today, I prefer milk chocolate.
Dark chocolates are bittersweet; you could
end up extremely dissatisfied, mind you.
Its the sort of bitterness that stings and stays,
and though the sweetness may linger at certain moments and
at various points in time,
the bitterness soon erodes any
sort of sensual enjoyment of such an
exquisite item that would allure one for
the first time.

Milk or Dark,
I guess i could do with both:
Perhaps drinking vodka sprite with a cube of dark
chocolate will annull its bitter roots.
Milk Chocolate is still the safest choice though-
it's like being a supporter in a game of tennis, of whom your
choice of player is Ferrero.
Time out? Nah. he'd have a bar of Toggi to work the
adrenaline up.

Milk or Dark,
I dont quite mind.
Im not an extremely fussy nor fastidious person;
just no caramel nor orange coffee toffee tasting
mudflows in there,
please if you may.

posted by voyeur @ 12/05/2003 12:29:00 PM

She walks in circles; she needs a treasure chest to lock her heart in, but where can she and where shall she lay her broken sobs and half angry tears? She sees no rainbows nor blue skies; December is a wintry month where lonely souls grow cold and find comfort in what fire they can draw bodily warmth from. "the ash tree is cold to look at", indeed it is; "and she smiles when she feels like crying..."

i love the way poems and songs speak to me and for me sometimes. i have only myself to blame. i feel so silly yet again. i knew that this would happen; i wanted to take my chances, and its payback time now. knowing it would have happened doesnt stop the pain though. does he see it? can he see it?

i doubt it. he's been too busy.

posted by voyeur @ 12/04/2003 11:17:00 PM

Saturday night was such great fun. i meant to write of this last night, but i was carried away by a certain something that i feel really silly about now. so Saturday night: Laser blinding lights, heart thumping music, adrenaline pumping through the veins of my being, and a certain someone who made the night all the better. -smiles- i must say that i havent attended an rj club party, and it was really quite so different, but in a good way. while talking to one of my girlfriends last night, it was concluded(at least on my part), that the rj crowd was less pretentious, more personable, and therefore more fun. or perhaps it was just my company that made it quite so wild. grin. i do still wonder how it would have been like if i went for the other party, or if i didnt go at all; my afternoon and my night were quite so contrarious, as always it is, but im so glad i went anyway!

Club parties have always struck me as something that Eliot would term "foolish habits meant only for annulling the vacancy inside all of us". perhaps so, and this is one of the reaons why i chose to go. there were of course other incentives, like a dear certain someone who made that night quite different from other nights of sweet nothings and empty talk; i often think of you as a basis for comparison somehow, and he has far exceeded that benchmark. ive talked about this before: the possibility of divorcing one's heart from physical intimacy, and my other girlfriend L says that she's so used to such a lifestyle of decadence that it is now readily possible for it to be so; i cannot yet decide if its a good or a bad thing, but it certainly makes life a tad easier and less complicated. not that it's complicated now, but there's a nagging feeling of wonder, of fantasy and of awe at such a consequence.

Perhaps i could get used to it; but no, each experience is unique and special, i'd like it to be so, and this i know not where it takes me but my heart is fluttering about as the silly simile sometimes goes, "as do butterflies to flowers". Let's see where next stop to Wonderland leads me.

posted by voyeur @ 12/01/2003 01:14:00 PM

i felt a plunge as she wrote "dont date *ahem* too much". let me take the full nose dive now. i must forget. havent i already?

i need someone to hold me tonight. tell me everything's alright.

posted by voyeur @ 11/30/2003 09:39:00 PM