Silent strolls in the ghosted town of Singapore exudes a certain fear in us; the long summer break springs to mind, but unlike previous years when i welcomed it with enumerating joy, i grow wistful and morose as i think it through tonight-- it marks his soon to come intermittent absence that my restless and faithless heart will find difficult to endure. However, he holds me close and takes my hand in the surest and most certain fashion, allowing me almost to bask in my comfort of aassurances and certainty. "Six more years till we marry, i can hardly wait!" i chirp almost naively. This however, isn't idealism; i brave my defeats and night-time phantoms, only to reach the highest level of confidence that ever have i felt in many years of brokeness, childish fears and mellow tears. This boy of mine, seemingly my alter ego; never have i met with someone so similar and yet so drastically different at the same time, and whom i have grown to love so absolutely, completely and wholly.
We make the promises or our lifetime; those words, the heartstrings that hold me together in faith, and in love.
i love you my dearest. Ever so thankful that i have you.
For the 21st of March, by the Singapore River it was.
The familiar beeping device awakes me from my dreamy placid state and i curiously punch the buttons only to see what i half-wished i didnt then; i brace myself and at first, i tease to veil my discomfort and distaste, then, my mask slips away like a sad clown who failed his circus act. i was not to play the clown tonight; merely the acrobat that i am, all i had to do was to please the crowds with my balancing rope act, why did i fall this time?
I could only look away, out into the darker waters that reflected nothing but my banks of half jealous half remorseful streams of consciousness. I didn't mean to distrust, nor did i intend to upset the midnight romance; like rising tides of a moment of loss, i only wished for you to hold me close and not push me away even farther than i was already trying to pull back. And you did, thank God. and that was it: the moment when two porcupines embraced.
In the inky darkness that was softly lighted by cascades of orange beams, our souls were one as our palms met and our fingers intertwined- almost the symbolic new reunion. Unlike Antaeus who got his strength from the soils, i got mine from the warmth of your hands( and often do we establish how powerful they are). Such a moment was not to be lost on me-- the poignancy of every starry romance threatened by the construction of new dams, preventing only the fresh sediments of love to flow downstream, choking and clogging upstream growth. Where man battles his natural environment, there is exploitation; where man struggles against his swelling emotions, consolidation occurs, when allowances are made.
I butter you with my love as i
spread thick layers of delightful natural richness
over you,
leaving only melted
stains on your impervious skin.
i nibble slightly at your edges hardened
by heat, and
savour completely the crispness of my
young new love.
My tongue slides hungrily
over the accompanying cup of
creamy bittersweet coffee, and i devour
rapidly what remains of you,
thrusting you into my system almost
forcefully.
My throat is warm and wet from the
satisfying meal, and
contentment resides as
ravenous cravings subside.
Almost instantly, the usual fatigue
arrests me and i wash the dishes before
dreaming once more of
breakfast and
toast
in
bed.
